Why Can't I Fix It?
Karen and I chatted this evening on the phone. It started with Facebook messaging, but Karen decided we needed to talk as she needed to “vent.” A little background leading up to tonight: We have a friend in common, more of an acquaintance on my part, someone who went to the same high school we did. This friend recently posted on social media that she was a victim of domestic violence and was making the move to get out. She gave lots of details on her posts. This is someone Karen has reached out to in the past when this friend almost died at her abuser’s hands, only to survive and go back to him. Lots of detail that we won’t go into, but that leads us to today when this friend, just a couple days after crying out on social media for help and posting pics of the Sheriff’s cars outside her home, she posts a “GoFundMe” account on Facebook.
Karen’s reaction to seeing this “GoFundMe” has her so riled up and angry, she wants to vent. Karen shares with me, very passionately, her thoughts and feelings. When she is finished. she asks me why I think she is so angry.Write comment (1 Comment)
Deja Vu.................... but still no answers
I have had to wait a few days to start putting this one on paper. It was so reminiscent of a day about 9 years ago with my middle son. I was expecting my kids home after being at their dad’s and was so excited to see them. However, when I opened the front door, my daughter ran inside and stood behind me, and my son, then 14 years of age, fell into my arms, limp.
Trying to hold him up and get a look at him, I asked, “What is wrong with him?” to which my ex responded with a shrug of his shoulders. When I continued to look at him with confusion, he said, “What?”
“He is grey and burning up” I replied.
With a flippant “Oh, he is fine,” my ex turned and walked away.
Long story short, through tears, my son told me he didn’t feel well, and after taking him to the doctor, we discovered he had pneumonia and was in bed for 2 weeks. There is SO much more to that story, but all I could think of at the time was, how did you not see that? And how do you not care?
Fast forward to this past weekend, and I receive a text from my daughter. Not totally unusual, as we text or snap quite often. She simply asks if she can come by my house and get a new contact lens. After my reply, “Of course,” she says nothing. Hmmm. So I text asking what happened to her current lens, and get no reply. It is just after this that there is a knock at our door. I am not sure who it could me, and my hubby asks if I am expecting someone. I shake my head no, explaining the text from my daughter, but there is no way they could have driven here by now.Write comment (3 Comments)
Be aware of your words!
Reflection time: Tonight I had a conversation with someone that caused me to come home, sit in the quiet and think. Almost always, quiet and thinking doesn't usually work out well for me. Ask those that are closest to me; they will tell you that I am never satisfied until I have an answer. Even if the questions or thoughts do not have any answers.
Tonight I was thinking about our words. I am a firm believer that our words can hurt or they can heal. Up until tonight I thought that I could walk confidently in knowing that I always think about what I say so that I don't hurt people with my words. If I am having a disagreement with someone I am very cautious in the words I choose and never call anyone names. You can not take your words back.They are forever out there, and name calling quite frankly is childish, and causes a lot of damage. I remember words my parents said to me as a child. They still stick with me today and have a great affect on my life and how I view myself.
Recently I had told my oldest son that "we" need to think about what we are saying before we say it to make sure that there isn't any miscommunication between you and the person you're speaking to. I'm not one that likes to "beat around the bush", especially when the direct path is so much quicker to get through. ;) I like to believe I think about what I am going to say before I say it.Write comment (0 Comments)
To see me through her eyes
Yesterday day was my birthday. When you get to be my age it becomes just another day. Oh don't get me wrong, I am blessed beyond words and I thank God for allowing me another year. But celebrations, parties, and gifts are just not necessary anymore. Not that they really ever were but we thought they were! My daughter has figured this out at a young age. Not that she doesn't like all the hoopla, but she long ago figured out what was the best thing to give her mommy. It starts in kindergarten when the teacher helps them to write a nice letter to their mom, usually on or around Mother's Day. Sometimes they are funny as the kindergartners have the biggest hearts but not a full grasp on reality. I remember my daughter's letter saying I was 21 and weighed like 25 pounds and that she loved that I took her for pizza some times. See what I mean about funny. But with each year the letter changes just a bit. The sentiment is always the same, how very much she loves me.
Fast forward to this year and my gift from my daughter is a letter, sent via email because she is at her dad's house. I want to share it here to inspire all you parents out there, but especially those who are going through or have gone through a divorce. We worry about being the best parent we can be to our children. And in cases like mine where the other parent is not the parent we nor our children feel they should be, or that we need them to be, we tend to worry even more. Are we enough? Are we doing the right things? Do our kids know just how much we love them? How much we do for them? Sacrifice for them?Write comment (0 Comments)